Parenting: what you do or who you are?
January 9, 2012
Parenting is more about who you are than what you do.
I firmly believe that.
Of course, what you do does matter. It’s important to use good parenting techniques. Always good to evaluate your parenting strategies and habits.
But sometimes parents do all the right things, but are not being the right role model.
This hit me the other night when my husband and I went to a local high school basketball game and I was observing the high school kids.
Our kids are out of high school and as I observed the crowd, I thought, I’m so glad I don’t have to go back and do it all over again. How did our kids ever make it through the crazy mixed-up maze of adolescence and end up such positive young adults?
I know it wasn’t because we did everything right. Because we didn’t. We made lots of mistakes.
But I do believe it was because of who we are. Ted and I are sincere, open people, who try to live with integrity; we follow God in a very down-to-earth way. We are not perfect; we don’t pretend to be. We admit our failings and trust God to give us daily wisdom.
So before you beat yourself up for not doing everything right, focus on being the person you want your child to be.
“The way your children turn out does not depend on what you do, but rather on what you are.” Luanne Shackleford (A Survivor’s Guide to Home Schooling)
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March 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm
Sounds like this almost gets into the ‘Nature vs Nurture’ discussion. No one can honestly say they’ve never made a mistake in parenting, but I’ve also known some parents that were genuinely good and others that were genuinely not so good as well.
Look what Daniel Ruyter recently posted: Manning Up – Reason Enough for Dads to Step Up to the Parenting Plate
This seems to be a clear cut case of the old, ‘actions speak louder than words, phrase isn’t it, Janis? I know that my parents lead by example and I am certain that I’m a better person because of it. When times did arise when Mum or Dad said something that I didn’t believe to be the case it was oftentimes because their actions or body language gave them up. Kids are very perceptive so I agree that it is best to focus on who you are – both as a person and a parent – as children will likely pick up on this long before you actually do or say a thing!
Anita. x
I can very well relate to your post . Never making any parenting mistake is a hypothetical scenario hence it is important that we realize the mistake and evaluate our strategies. Parenting is assuredly the toughest job on earth . One needs to strike a balance between being strict and over pampering the child . Wonderful share.