Youth sports: is it okay for your child to quit mid-season?
September 28, 2012
If you would have asked me that question a couple of years ago, I would have said NO.
“Merediths don’t quit,” we preached to our kids. “You finish the season and then if you don’t want to play next season, you don’t have to.”
But there is one thing I’ve learned after 25 years of parenting: there usually comes a time when the rules can and should be broken.
We were ready to break the “no quitting” rule when our daughter faced a rough senior year of basketball. She was late coming in because her volleyball team did well in the play-offs and she never could seem to get back into the good graces of the basketball coach. A coach who played her a lot as a junior.
When the season was a few weeks old, she was frustrated and wanted to quit basketball to focus on club volleyball, a sports she was hoping to play in college.
After much discussion, my husband and I gave her permission to quit the team so she could focus fully on volleyball, although we’re still not big on the whole mid-season quitting thing. And in different circumstances, we would not have offered it to our daughter as an option.
So when should it be an okay for an athlete to quit a team mid-season? Here’s my thoughts:
- When she is a senior. Can’t blame a kid for not wanting to waste her time on a team she is not enjoying in her last year of high school. If she is not going to play in college and she is sitting the bench, it’s okay to say goodbye to sports. Maybe move on and get a job.
- When you or she reaches a point where you cannot support what the coach stands for. I’m not saying a personality difference or being disgruntled with playing time. But if the coach is standing for something intolerable, then it could be time to move on.
- When a player is out for the season because of injury and he doesn’t plan to return the next year. In my son’s senior year of high school football, an emergency appendectomy cut short his season. There was really no point in him hanging around practice because by the time he was cleared to play, the season was over.
So when is it not okay to quit?
When your athlete is mad about sitting the bench, can’t get along with teammates or doesn’t like the coach–these are all issues that an athlete should work through.
By the way, my daughter chose to stick out her senior year of basketball; and although it ended up falling short in some ways of her performance expectations, it did NOT fall short in teaching her character!
What do you think? Is it okay for a young athlete to quit mid-season?
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From Kids in Sports | Character Building | JBM Thinks, post Youth sports: is it okay for your child to quit mid-season?
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Twitter: espinosajoey
September 28, 2012 at 8:39 am
I agree with you that sometimes there are reasons to quit. But a senior-year injury may be the best reason. There is an aspect of “team” that anyone can play — maybe he could support the team in other ways, such as a manager or by moral support.
Of course, I don’t know the exact situation of your son’s team, so there may not have been opportunities for him.
Look what Joey Espinosa recently posted: The Importance of Family in College Success
Joey, he was home recooperating for a couple of weeks, then he still didn’t feel up to standing on the sidelines for the entire game. He was still supportive of his team, just not as a team member.
Twitter: stats_dad
September 28, 2012 at 9:15 am
You nailed this topic. We have the same rule in our house – you can quit after the season is over. But I agree with all of the situations you have mentioned above. Good post.
Look what Stats Dad recently posted: Youth Sports: How to Get Great Action Photos
Thanks, Fran. And let me add that I am so glad my youngest didn’t quit basketball her senior year. The leadership she brought to the team on and off the bench was amazing!
Twitter: sportssignup
October 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm
It’s hard to never say never when it comes to quitting youth sports. Obviously you want your child to honor their commitment but there are outside factors that sometimes mean quitting is an option. Obviously if they are hurt they have every right to take the rest of the season off. If their grades start slipping is another reason too. And there are some instance where your child will give it everything they have and just be up against a situation with their team/coach/another player where they can’t fight any more.