I tell myself as I grow older, that birthdays are not so important anymore. I’m too mature and seasoned to get excited. After all, it’s just another day. Right?
Who am I fooling? No matter how hard I try to downplay the BIG DAY, no matter how much I try to treat it as just another day, I am still left with a deep down yearning for something special on that day.
No,I don’t need a party. Or lots of presents. I don’t need a big surprise or hundreds of cards or a fancy cake. Those are all fun and I definitely wouldn’t mind them, but after over half a century of birthdays–some with unmet expectations and others with wonderful surprises–I’ve come to the conclusion that there is only one thing I really want on my birthday and one thing I really should want. I want to TO FEEL LOVED.And I should want to focus on loving others.
So birthdays are actually pushmi/pullyu days. You remember that character from Dr. Doolittle? He/she is always being pulled in two directions. There’s the self-focused side that says “love me, love me” and the selfless side that says, “I love you, I love you.”
Pushme pullyu birthdays became much more noticeable when I had kids. Because even when it was my birthday I still had to be a mom and do mom stuff. So I was forced to love, even while I was being loved.
And I guess, when you get right down to it, everyday is a pushmi pullyu day, huh?
Just some birthday thoughts to ponder as I eat cake and celebrate with family & friends and–by the way–spend yet another birthday at one of my kid’s basketball games.