After one very disappointing season for my young athlete, I drafted a letter to the coach.
However, I never sent it.
Do you think I should have? Here’s what I typed:
I am writing to express my concern over my child’s youth sports season. It was a season he/she started out enjoying, but ended up hating.
If you recall, my child started out very strong, scoring a lot and playing with passion. But as the season progressed and your frustration at losing several games in a row began to show itself, you started taking it out on the players.
You were negative, and on more than one occasion were quoted as saying you did not expect them to win. More than one parent complained that when a kid made a mistake, you often yanked him immediately.
Yet you refused to crack down on the selfish play that continually showed itself. Instead you rewarded selfish players and players who cussed in your face by giving them more playing time.
You did not believe in your players and they felt it. As the season progressed, your attitude squashed my child’s heart. He/she became afraid to play aggressive for fear of getting yanked if they did not score. You cut down with comments about my child’s play at practice. You damaged his/her self-confidence in the game. It’s funny how none of this was a problem BEFORE you coached my child.
My child will play sports in college next year. I pray he/she has a more positive coach who believes in the players. My child will thrive with a coach like that. He/she has thrived in the past with coaches who believed and wanted him/her to succeed.
Never once all season did my child feel like you wanted him/her to succeed. My child always felt like you disliked him/her. You did not take the time to explain to these players why you were playing them less or not starting them or why they were sitting on the bench. How can they expect to improve unless you help them see exactly what it is you want them to do?
I know being a coach is a hard job. I’ve been married to one for 30 years. But I’ve seen enough coaching between being a coach’s wife and being the mom of three athletes to know a positive, encouraging coach who truly helps his players improve. My child did not have that this season, and it was a season he would rather not remember.
Maybe just writing it to vent my frustration was all I really needed to do. What do you think?
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