When your child gets cut from the team, what do you say?
I got an email from a mom recently who asked me some very hard questions.
In the last two years, our high school girls volleyball coaches have had team tryouts and last year, they cut one girl from the team. This year they cut a team of 15 girls down to a group of 12.(My daughter was one of the three who were cut.)
I would so like to speak up to the coaches and administrators, but don’t want to endanger my daughter’s chances for any future sports she may try out for.
When your child gets cut from the team, it’s hard to swallow.
I feel this mom’s pain. I know how hard this can be for kids. I remember when my daughter got cut from a volleyball team. She was devastated and for a few days, there was sadness in the house.
But I do believe that there can be a silver lining to every cloud. You just have to take the time to find it.
What could that silver lining be? Consider this:
That disappointment might turn your child in another direction, one that is good.
When my daughter got cut from the travel volleyball team, she turned her focus to softball. This actually ended up being a good thing because she was more skilled in softball and actually ended up playing it through high school and college.
If she works hard, she can come back next season.
I’ve known many kids who were cut from a team, only to come back and make it the next year because they continued working hard. I even knew of a team that cut a few girls, then allowed them on because a few weeks into the season, circumstances dictated that they needed more players. If she has the fight in her, tell her not to give up, to keep working.
She will learn how to handle disappointments
We never wish these situations on our children. If we could, we’d shield them from all disappointments. As parents, you know that it’s not the end of your child’s world when your child gets cut from he team. At this point in her life, however, she probably does not understand that. As hard as it is to watch, you will see that your child will bounce back and come to realize that we can recover from disappointment. Learning to do so is an important life skill.
Look for other playing opportunities
If you look hard enough, you will find other avenues for playing, such as club and camps. If your child truly loves the sport, then she will want to find ways to play and who knows, that could help her improve so much that she will come back stronger and maybe make the team next year or season.
Let your child fight the battle
How should parents respond to the coaches’ decision when your child gets cut from the team?
Let her speak for herself. If f she really wants to know the reasons why, encourage her to talk to the coach and ask what she needs to do to improve. “Coach, I want to come back and make the team next year, what do I need to do to improve? ”
You going to bat for her to fight her battles will not do her any good. She needs to stand up for herself if she really wants it.
I understand that it is very hard for a mom and dad to watch their child get cut from the team. We are so protective of our children and want to make everything all better for them. But that’s not how they grow. Your love and support will go farther to helping her grow from this experience that she will if you go fighting for her to the coach or administrator. Coaches will be more impressed at her determination if she confronts them, than if you do it for her.
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