When your child talks back, you may feel the anger starting to boil and a very strong urge to give the little smart aleck a piece of your mind. But deep down inside you know that’s probably not the most effective way to handle the situation.
A few weeks ago, I had a parent send me a message asking for advice because his 8-year-old daughter was speaking disrespectfully and hatefully to her parents. He told me they’d tried every tactic they could think of–time-outs, spanking, and taking away things–and none of them were working. Both mom and dad were wondering if they would ever find a solution and had been searching for answers online.
I answered him with these thoughts:
When your child talks back, remember 5 words
There’s probably many parenting programs and tactics you could use to attack this situation, and I’m not here to tell you which one is the best. But I am going to start by saying this: pick one and stick with it, whether it’s Total Transformation, Love and Logic, or techniques from experts such as Dr. Michele Borba. Picking a strategy is like picking a new home or school: you have to find one that fits your family’s personalities and most importantly, one that your kid responds to. What may work for one parent and child, may not work with another.
As you adapt whatever strategy works for your family, keep in mind five key character-shaping words: foundation, consistency, time, clarity,and calm.
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